Skip to main content Newsletter To revisit this article, select My Account, then View saved stories Close Alert Sign In Search News Books & Culture Fiction & Poetry Humor & Cartoons Magazine Puzzles & Games Video Podcasts Archive Goings On Shop Open Navigation Menu To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories Close Alert More Humor Back in My Day My Secret Fears What to Do with Kale To My Embalmers Daily Shouts By Tom O’Donnell March 31, 2014 Save this story for later. Save this story for later. I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief. “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.” “What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?” “Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of b...