Onion, Inc. Sites The Onion The A.V. Club ClickHole Onion Studios Search Top Headlines Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man Start your day with our morning show, Today Now! Join hosts Jim and Tracy as they welcome Dave Portman, a real-life Frankenstein's monster. Measles Eliminated In North, South America SpaceX’s Plan To Colonize Mars SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan: Cat Internally Debates Whether Or Not To Rip Head Off Smaller Creature It Just Met ROCKVILLE, MD—Staring attentively at the potential prey while carefully weighing its best course of action, local cat Jasper was reportedl...