[if lt IE 9]><img src="/static/onion/img/logo_1x.png" alt="The Onion" title="The Onion" /><![endif] [if lt IE 9]><img src="/static/onion/img/icons/weather/sun_1x.png" alt="Partly cloudy" /><![endif] Another boring weather day [if lt IE 9]><img src="/static/onion/img/avclub-small_1x.png" alt="A.V. Club" title="A.V. Club" /><![endif] Follow @TheOnion Video Politics Sports Science/Tech Local Entertainment Fantasy Football More Back Video Politics Sports Business Science/Tech Entertainment Breaking News in Brief • News • ISSUE 50•47 • Nov 24, 2014 FERGUSON, MO—Having reportedly enlisted friends and family members to help him board up his shopfront’s windows and reinforce its doors, sources confirmed Monday that Crystal Waters Pool & Spa proprietor Larry Hardwick is greatly overestimating how much potential looters in Ferguson, MO want to get ahold of his store’s chlorine tablets. “Thin...